Don't Have to Own

Take a deep breath and repeat after me: 

"I can like, admire, and find beauty in something without am urge to possess it exclusively."

I see on Pinterest all the time that people "WANT!!!" "wannnttttttt" and "need. <3" things. It can be dangerous for some people. A glut of information, so many perfect pictures and no advertising and the ability to organize and...PIN ALL THE THINGS!!! You can become a hoarder of images, which might not sound like a lot, but when you consider that each image is actually an idea, a lifestyle, an expense...it's like trying to excuse having 19 pet elephants in a 1 bedroom apartment. You get to where you don't have room to live because it is all taken up with the dissatisfaction and planning of "want".
For any of you that know that I have 6,000+ pins at the moment, you're probably priming your pointer fingers to blow off in my face.
I feel your ire, but hold on a minute.

About every two weeks or so, I overhaul a pinboard or five and delete the things that are taking up too much EMOTIONAL space.
What do I mean by that? Well, as I referenced in a previous entry, setting your sights on an $800 purse held by a model that would fit into you about 5 times over is emotionally draining. Even if you had the 800 clams to plop on a purse, it would not look the same on you as it does on her [heavilyphotoshopped] arm. So why not find purses that are A) in your budget and B) flattering to your frame? That way you can actually get excited about them, and be reminded of them when out shopping or someone else asks you what purse you would like as a present! Isn't that more fun? Because, when you do the DIY projects and open the etsy shop to earn enough money to buy the 800 dollar purse, you still don't have the full picture. Everything feels "off". So you keep working and budget cook a month's worth of meals in one day and open a boutique to sell your etsy things so that you can buy the shirt, shoes, belt, shorts, and sunglasses that went with the bag. And then you realize that the model can now fit into you 6 times, because of all the stress you've been under. So you turn to the fitness section of pinterest. And the beat goes on....
What a bill of goods! Marketers certainly understand how our brains work, don't they? Sometimes I think this is why Pinterest doesn't have ads. You know word of mouth is the most powerful form of advertising, right? (I sure do, having been in direct sales and studied marketing, product display, and customer psychology) Well, now we have "word-of-pin." And for most people, one thing leads to another if you're not careful.

When it comes to travel, let me just say this now-- you are realistically going to visit maybe 5 out of the 130 places that you pinned as "must see b4 I die." Unless you take a year off, couch surf, and dedicate yourself to it. And when you get there, what are you going to do? Take pictures of it. You know, the same pictures from the same angle that 50,000 other photographers with much better equipment have taken before you. But YOU did it, right? You were THERE. YEAH!!
.............and?
If you've never read Terry Pratchett's The Color of Magic, you might not understand why I asked that. Pratchett's satirical look at tourism is well worth it. The point is, we do those things "in person" so that we can "say we did it." And with a much crappier camera, I might add. You have to be there, to see it with your own eyes and touch it with your own hot little mitts.
Now, I understand that for certain people with lifelong obsessions with a place, or for artists that truly will couch surf and backpack across Europe for the experience, that is totally fine. But for most of us that will never move out of the town we were born in, it's emotionally consuming to have that hanging over your head/wallet as an unfulfilled dream.
What I have found works is to find the best pictures possible, taken with cameras that would buy a house, at times, seasons, and heights I could never reach, with all people cleared out for the shoot, and immerse myself in it. So THIS is the Taj Mahal. If you were to go there, you'd just be another tourist in a throng of people only allowed there during daylight, taking the same pictures as everyone else. Be realistic to your lifestyle-- most of us cannot afford that camera and don't have the influence to get private tours anywhere. You can appreciate someone else's work without feeling like you have to do the same thing.

You can love red. On your friend or that kitchen in BHG. But if you know that wearing red makes you look like you're about to need Anger Management classes or just entered puberty with a 150 degree fever, don't wear it... You don't have to own something to like it or enjoy it. I adore purple. But almost all shades of it except for violet make me look ill. My hair is naturally curl-ish and super thick. It would not be in my best interests to have my heart set on looking like Olivia Dunham from Fringe.

And now, getting to the crux of the matter, let me explain why it is that I have 6000+ pins.
About... 86% of those images are things that I simply enjoy looking at. Things that make sense in their setting, on the model, whatever. I keep a board full of things that are unique, ones that are pretty, and ones that are full of colors. I keep them to look at, to appreciate. But I don't need them. I don't need to recreate them. They feel the artsy and creative places in my soul, but that is all they are there for.
There's slender fairies in gossamer green, plump HAES bloggers in rockabilly duds, people who have devoted an arm and a leg (literally) to steampunk... I like all these things! But I don't want to be them, do them, have them.

Appreciation is becoming a lost art. It is slowly being replaced with lust and possession.
There have been multiple people in my life who exhibit the following trait: whenever they are presented with something new to them, they express the desire to get/do/be/own some of the same. If you find yourself saying "me too!" more often than "Wow!" this might apply to you as well.
I am not an insensitive jerk who doesn't understand about imitation being the most sincere form of flattery.
Yes, there are some people and things that are love-at-first-sight for each other. 
But for most of these situations, it is simply an exhibition that the "metooer" really has no idea who they are and what they like. This person is swept in trends and, in an unfortunately accurate Victorian phrase, "shallow." Meaning- no depth. (This is no reflection on their character or morals, and of no kin to "shady.")
It simply means they don't know themselves very well and, like a waterbug, flit on the surface of everything from one spot to the next.
I believe we all have varying degrees of shallowness in multiple areas of our lives.
I also believe it is worth the investment of time and effort to get to know yourself. You're the only you to ever live, EVER! I'd say you're probably pretty unique and worth knowing. =)